Transcript:

The Rubber Band Rule

We intuitively treat each other according to what I call the Rubber Band Rule. 

We flex to treat people differently, depending on the situation. For some people, we’re willing to stretch more, to accommodate how they want to be treated. Sometimes that means doing things that we don’t really want to do. If we continually do things that make us uncomfortable, what will happen is that we will eventually snap and break, like a rubber band. That’s why it’s important to be aware of the things that we don’t want to do, that we won’t do, even when other people want us to. Now, sometimes, outside conditions will impact our ability to stretch. For example, the pandemic brought on many stressors that reduced our ability to flex. That’s when it’s important to be aware of our breaking points, especially during periods of transition and change, such as living through a pandemic, a change in jobs, and graduating from school. 

Have you ever been stretched so much, perhaps at work or school, that you did eventually snap? It’s critical to understand the difference between just stretching yourself versus stretching yourself too thin. We have to be aware of what our internal limits and boundaries are.

In my research, I’ve learned that people treat different people differently. Respect is relative, contradictory, and subjective.

Just think about how we have different expectations, depending on who we’re interacting with. For example, the way you may treat your boss could differ from how you treat a vendor. And the way that you expect your boss to treat you, could differ from how you expect a vendor to treat you. This demonstrates the relativity of respect. 

Respect is also contradictory. Just think about that person who loves to give you unsolicited constructive feedback and yet when you give that person unsolicited constructive feedback, mm, they don’t like it. 

Respect is contradictory within ourselves. There may be ways that you like to be treated but you don’t actually treat other people that way. For example, perhaps you want other people to keep you informed about their projects, and yet you often forget to keep other people informed about your own work. 

How you see respect and how I see respect may differ. This difference is rooted in what we learned in Module 2, about how we formed our understanding of respect. Personal relationships and experiences have influenced how we see respect. Respect is objective.

Now, let’s move on to the next module. Just finish the quiz at the end of this video to check for your understanding first.